In Desi Shoes.
As a desi, born and brought up in India, we all have a typical mind set. In all that we do, we involve our family, home and language. We refuse to accept any thing that does not agree with our family, home and/or language. We never consider the consequence. I am not discussing here as to whether it is good or bad. I am simply throwing some light on our behavior. On the contrary we can do anything (to be noted) that does not hamper or interfere the interests of our family, home and language.
With these restrictions on our thought process, we start our career and dream about defeating the whole world. Few desi become successful partially and come across the vast ocean to sow the seeds of their future. Some of them come really early and some other after spending a quality desi time in the mother land. But all of us who have come from India do still remember the sweet home and mother-cooked food. The festivals, the pujas and moreover, the social gatherings can never be erased from our mind. The young and prospective ones trying to catch the sight of an appealing buddy from opposite sex, showing up and impressing people around etc are the feelings not to be forgotten. The hidden charm in all those have a different taste for people with desi mind set.
Soon after the desi arrives in the land of united culture, he/she realizes the cultural and climatic differences in this country. The very first thing is that people walk/drive on the right side of the road. Although we knew all this, but we never had a chance to see it in reality before arriving here. Now everybody calls you by your name,no sir, no sahib, no babu and no ji. Even a kid (except your own) calls you by your name. The other remarkable difference could be that, no non-desi woman in saris. Slowly, we get used to these things and even we get adjusted to the accent, timing, speed, climate and food of this country. Some desi youngmen even shave their well groomed moustache in the makeover.
After living here for more than a year, the desi looks at his/her new transformed image. He/she now has a better profile, smiles at others and greets, is able to drive to different places by him/her-self, can survive without having roti-sabji or rice-sambhar etc. Sometimes, it takes little more time to get adjusted to the language and culture. The Americans have their own English, different accent/dialect and slangs. Although we all studied English, but there are many slangs and proverbs that we didnt know/use until we worked with them. As all of us know that rubber is termed for condoms, restrooms refer to bathrooms etc, in US. Now-a-days, people have started the same pattern in India too, so the new generations coming to US will not be facing many differences as compared to the people who came here in early 90s.
Our culture, social lifestyle and traditional thought process are age old and eventually happen to be our great pride. We always try to talk about them even when we dont understand them properly. We have a very vast background of spiritual knowledge, but very few of us really know what it is. Some of us even believe that spirituality is related to ghosts and their existence.
Transformation from a traditional lifestyle to a no-worry, liberal and free life style might take a little longer to get materialized. It seems totally unrealistic when an American counter part says that he/she is going to attend his/her mothers marriage. The relationships like moms husband, moms boyfriend, dads wife, dads girlfriend etc sound very bizarre to our desi ear. Referring to a discussion with an American,I have 4 kids and my wife has 2 - this might be unacceptable for us, but it is true. I have met some people who are still in search of the name of their father. But despite all these, people and families still give importance to marriages.
A human is treated as a human in this country. There is nobody who should get better treatment than anybody else. Anyone can call 9-1-1 and avail the emergency services if needed. There are many other cases, where you can feel that the equalities are being maintained. There are rules for treating people equally irrespective of their language, color and race etc. Also they take care to enforce the rules.
In my opinion, no matter whatever you do, the activity tells that you are a desi. The way you speak, smell, eat and deal with others will always have the desi touch. Is it bad to be a desi? Definitely not thats the way we are, our nature and our lifestyle. We shouldnt feel bad about it, we must be proud of being a desi. No one else in this world has got the quality that we have a beautiful mind. But few of us do really recognize it. They always think that the American way of doing everything is perfect. So they blindly follow it and finally end up being a joker.
If you really want to follow Americans then follow them for the good. Can you tell me, how many of us can really walk on the streets holding the hand of our own spouse? How many of us can give a hug to our spouse in the public? How many hours a desi spends talking one-to-one to his/her spouse? How many of us do tell I love you, honey etc over phone while talking to our spouse? How many of us really understand the relationship in marriage and give enough space for the partner?
Marriage, relationships and love are properly defined in our own desi scripts. However, we are ignorant about these. For generations, we have been doing what suited us and told by our forefathers. Thus dominating the truth by our orthodox thought process. We have an instinct that does not let us enjoy liberty and does not let us behave as an independent human.
You have a chance to revise your life style. Nobody is there to restrict you from the makeover other than you. So change your basic instinct for good. Other things will change automatically.